Lazarus

I hesitate to blog about this, as the exchange I had with Elizabeth tonight seems so personal that I almost want to keep it private. However, I am so moved by her and more than that the ultimate point of what she has said is to bring glory to Him and a way to do this is to share.

Elizabeth and Kaitlin spent about 45 minutes reading their Bibles tonight. We are blessed with a WONDERFUL church where my kids learn about His love and life in a fun and caring environment. Tammie, I hope you read this and are once again reminded of how all of your dedication and work impacts lives. We also are so blessed to have a church family; wonderful friends who share the same beliefs we do and hold us in prayer daily. Anyway, when I sat down with the girls, they shared what they had talked about today in church. They heard the story of Lazarus. Lazarus became sick and his sisters called for Jesus. Instead of coming right away, Jesus took days to get to the town of Bethany and to Lazarus. He knew that though Lazarus would die, a miracle would happen. By the time he arrived, Lazarus was indeed dead. Jesus went to the tomb of Lazarus and prayed. When the stone was removed, Lazarus walked out, alive. Because of this miracle many people who witnessed it became believers; they put their faith in Jesus.

Elizabeth told me that she read one of the verses aloud. Because of what the verse said, I assumed that maybe her teacher assigned her the passage, knowing of Elizabeth's background. Liz said "no. My teacher asked for a volunteer, and so I just read." This is what she read: John 11:4 -When He heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it"
The girls and I talked again about how we are here to glorify God. How our trials and hurts seem unfair and how we wonder why God doesn't answer our prayers more quickly or help us in the way we think He should. But that all of this has a purpose. Liz then said "Yeah and trusting He might not answer your exact prayers because He wants to see if you will still trust Him and pray to Him"
She totally gets it.

About 15 minutes later she said "This may sound weird, but I kinda want to die. I mean, I want to stay here and live, but I want to die too so that I can go to Heaven and never have my tummy hurt so much again. Do you think that sounds dumb, Mom?"
Oh, my heart. I literally felt pain and my stomach dropped in a way it never has.
BUT, through my sadness that my daughter even has to have pain in her life great enough to bring this thought, I also was struck with a HUGE sense of awe and admiration. As sure as knows the sun rises and sets, as sure as her knowledge that her family loves her, as sure as she knows her little brother will annoy her on a daily basis and her sister will giggle with her one minute and drive her crazy the next, as sure as she is that she will always be loved and taken care of....as sure as all of this, she is sure that one day, because of her faith in Jesus, she will be in a wonderful place and she embraces it.

For those who do not believe or have never heard this story or guarantee, I know how it may shake you to hear that a child welcomes the thought going to Heaven. I know, though, that Liz does not want to die. That is not the case at all. If anyone loves living, it is our Liz, but she knows that because she believes in Jesus Christ, when she does die she will have eternal life. She knows that we all (who believe in Him) will get to go to Heaven.
I heard this as a child and as a teen, but it was not until I became an adult that I was even close to believing it with all my heart in the way Elizabeth is as a child and I know that as much as it kills me to see her suffer at times, she is His child and there is a purpose.