Mom to Mom

Last night I used the word devastated to describe how I was feeling. I was devastated. Minutes after I used the word I thought of a couple of people who I know are experiencing unbelievable pain and I wondered if "devastated" was appropriate for describing my sadness and frustration.I wondered if I should have added an aside...."this is devastating, but not as devastating as losing her would be." Or "not as devastating as if she had cancer." Devastated was how I felt, so I let the statement stand.
Soon I received a message from a brave,amazing mom that read "I understand your panicked feelings. It is just the most awful thing to watch your child be sick and have no control. Just know you are not alone, even if it feels that way."
I was struck.
Struck by the way only a mother of a sick child can fully understand how helpless one can feel. Panicked is the perfect word. I would walk a million miles with Elizabeth in my arms or on my back if I knew I could get to someone who would finally fix her. I would find any amount of money or do any favor to know that she would never again be sick. I would beg, even steal to fix her, and the longer this goes on I am left feeling panicked.
I was struck by the way this mother knows that though I can be in a crowded room of caring people, or have Walter beside me or even have the prayers of many.... the weight of Elizabeth being sick sometimes can feel so very lonely.
Most of all, I was struck by the compassion that this woman was showing me during a time she is facing true devastation. The worst, most painful devastation one can imagine.
Ani, thank you for taking the time to pray for Elizabeth. Thank you for writing and even in the midst of your unbelievable, unfair, heart wrenching loss, reach me with the words you knew I would understand..... mom to mom.

*Ani is honoring her sweet baby Ruby Jane by working hard to save lives. If you have not done so already, please register to become an organ donor at www.donatelife.net