Friday

Today I saw Liz walking towards me, with her mask on and her tube down her nose, and I couldn't help but gasp a little. That sick looking beauty is my girl, and it strikes me sometimes. It may sound unbelievable- and I can understand how- that I can live each day at my Lizzie's side, caring for her needs and taking in everything the doctors say to me- but not fully grasp that my girl is sick. I kid you not, I have asked the doctors if Liz is really a chronically ill child at two points during the last twelve days of this hospital stay alone. This blog, on most days, is about Elizabeth; I won't start a CaringBridge page because I am waiting until I know that Liz truly is sick. Ridiculous when I write that, and I am struck at how maybe I am waiting until I don't even have to question that.
I am not in denial at all....I am just so hopeful that she will get past this, confused at how we got here, and in awe of how bad it has gotten. You have to understand that though Liz has dealt with health issues her whole life, never has it been as bad as the last two years. Never. And so, I just cannot wrap my head around how sick she has become.

Today has been as good of a day as can be expected under the circumstances. My little party girl has been staying awake until after midnight (not going to be fun once we get home) and she sleeps in until at least nine each morning. Today we woke her early as Respiratory came to get her and take her for a test. How rude of us! : )
The rest of the day has been pretty quiet- a walk in the garden, watching the koi at the little pond and enjoying being out in the fresh air, jewelry making thanks to a gift from a sweet friend, and now watching all of the bridal shows on TLC (thank goodness for these shows, as I cannot take one more episode of Storage Wars or The Cat Behaviorist!). She cannot walk the halls or go to the playroom because of risk of infection (a daily concern that has prevented her from doing that from the start if this stay, and now a big no-no as today's labs show that her Absolute Neutrophil Count is only 800). She is a moody little thing as each day passes, and is not happy knowing that Monday will bring the trip to the OR for her PICC to be placed. I am trying to remind her to stay positive and upbeat, convincing myself to remain the same as I speak the words.
Grateful for a good day. Please keep praying!!!