Sidelines

Today I was able to spend a lot of alone time with my Kate. We were on the freeway by 6:00am, heading to Anaheim for her day-long volleyball tournament....just the two of us. I could not have been more happy than I was, just being able to focus on her, watch her have fun with her teammates, and show her how important she is to me. And I was able to sit; there is so much sitting at these tourneys and it feels so good!

Poor Kate ended up injuring her ankle. After her first game, she was limping and didn't know how she'd injured it, but it was definitely swollen and needed to be taped. During her second game, she sprung off her foot to go for a ball and she ended up in tears and asked the coach to have someone sub-in. Kate doesn't complain easily (except when she has a cold, and then she is as bad as a man with her sniffles and complaints : ) ), and she absolutely hates attention being on her. So for her her to draw attention to herself by asking the coach to take her out, I knew she was hurting.
As she sat on the bench, we could all see her sobbing hard enough to make her shoulders rise as she cried. Her coach knelt next to her on and off, and it took everything not to go to her. After about 15 minutes, I did end up getting out of the bleachers, and the coach asked me to take her to the trainer for ice.
She iced it, was able to stay off the foot for an hour, and then we bought a brace and she was back on the court playing. "Just like Uncle Travis does", she said.

I have to tell you that during those minutes, watching her sit alone on the bench in pain and crying, I had thoughts of Elizabeth. I feel so helpless in regards to Elizabeth, and daily I am watching her and worrying about her; I am with her and I have access to medical care, and still- I am on the sidelines, unable to truly help her. It is the worst feeling as a mom.

Elizabeth's arm is still painful and she has some bruising, so we are going to go ahead and pull the PICC line from her right arm and place a new one in her left. I hate sending her to the OR again, and I have been trying to wait it out and hope her pain would resolve, but it is time. The doctors worry about the possibility that she is developing blood clots, and it is not smart to wait to pull the line.
Tomorrow is Monday, which means that the home health nurse will come to draw labs, change Liz's dressing, and do a weekly weight check. I have chosen not to weigh Liz during the week, because I will just make myself crazy. So, tomorrow is her weekly reveal, and I am anxious to see how much she has gained.

Off subject, but something that has been weighing on my mind more than I can express-
To those of you who have brought us a meal, sent a card, left a gift, or prayed for us....
THANK YOU. I am ashamed at how long it is taking me to get notes written, and I want you to know that even if I haven't written or called, we are so grateful for each act of kindness.

Thank you for caring about our Elizabeth. Truly.