Forever

I know people with life-threatening illnesses. I have shared with you about sweet little Alyssa who beat cancer only to end up contracting a virus that left her blind. I am amazed at a fellow Board member at the hospital who is always happy even though she carries the burden of caring for her son who is deaf, blind, immobile and unable to eat by mouth. All such very difficult things to live with....forever. I think about all of these people-and others like them-often. How lucky, how blessed am I to have my health and for my family to have theirs?!
And still....these days that find us losing a little bit of "normal" a little at a time make me start to lose sight of just how lucky we are. Because when Liz is sick and only getting sicker as the days go by, things seem like they may never get better. What if she is sick forever?

Today we were back to the pediatrician's office because after 2 weeks if this respiratory-type illness, Liz's cough is worse and her headaches are making her hold her head and roll in pain. The doctors are pretty sure it is another sinus infection but we are unable to start her on an antibiotic as would usually happen because of the CDifficile her body is already fighting. Tomorrow she will have a CT scan to confirm she does indeed have the sinus infection. If she does, the Infectious Disease team will take over, most likely starting iv meds rather than oral antibiotics.
Her urine that tested for protein on Monday and was sent to the lab to confirm, came back showing she is dropping protein in her urine (+3 for my medical family). She left another sample today and we should hear tomorrow if today's sample has protein in it or not.
The poor girl just feels sick and so very tired....and I am over it all for her.

School is not happening; at least she isn't attending school right now. Her teacher can cofirm for me, but I think she has only attended three days so far this year. I never thought we'd get to the point where she wouldn't be well enough for school. It is pretty sad, actually.

I wish I had more to say or a better entry to post, but I just don't have the words. Some ask me how I am doing with it all..... um, in four hours tonight I made dinner, cleaned the girls' room, mopped the whole house, gave Jackson a shower, did three loads of laundry, cleaned my room and my bathroom and helped Liz with school work for an hour. If I am honest I will admit that all of that frantic work means I am stressed, as stress makes me clean like a crazy lady.

Trying to keep in mind that this won't all last forever. At least I don't think it will.