Ugghhhhh!

It has been a while since my last post. You know the phrase "If you can't say anything, don't say anything at all"? Well, I have been living that phrase for the past week or so. I actually have said this week how grateful I am for access to medical care and for the lives of my family and for my health.....but I am also burdened with an incredible frustration and that seriously effects my positivity. So, I have been pretty quiet.

The latest update on Liz is pretty negative, so I will start with a positive; with a wonderful blessing....
As I rushed out of Target tonight with Elizabeth's latest prescription, there was a man soliciting on behalf of "the children." He bellowed at shoppers to "C'mon and give money to the children!!" As he saw me, he asked and I shook my head no. He asked again, louder. I said "Not today." He then said "I know you have money in that big purse to spare."
If you know me, you know my "are-you-freaking-kidding-me face." Let's just say I gave him that face. What I really wanted to do was say "Yes, I am blessed and I have much more than many people in this world have. I also have less than some people in this world have. And though I have a 'big' purse, a purse with money in it, I just spent $330 alone this week in co-pays and medications. I also just found out that this new prescription will cost me $325.00 over the next week. So, please don't assume what you don't know."
I wanted to say all of that, but I didn't. Instead I kept my yucky face on and marched to my car, while tryig to remind myself that I am grateful to even have access to the medication.
Now, for the wonderful blessing- Our church has been unbelievable with how supportive they have been. Cards for the family sent by members, gifts for the children, wonderful artwork and prayers from the Sunday School classes, and the constant reminders that we are being prayed for. Our Life stage Group (parents of young children) held a garage sale last month and last week, we received a check in the mail from proceeds of that sale. This is such a gift and a reminder of how He works in our lives, through the kindness and generosity of others.
I told you it was a wonderful blessing!

Now for the update.
Thankfully, Liz does NOT have Cystic Fibrosis. That is a harsh disease and we are praising the fact that this is not a diagnosis for her!
We will meet with the Pulmonary/Immunologist again next week to go over all the other labs, but I do know that some results that have come in show a problem with her lymphocytes and immunity factors. I will post more once I speak to the doctor.
She still has the cough she's had for two months. We thought the antibiotics the doctors prescribed for a sinus infection would clear that, but the cough is actually worse.
Over the past four days she has been complaining more about stomach pain and she's lost a 1 1/2 lbs since last week. Last night she started with bloody stools again. Our fears that her being on the antibiotics for her sinus infection would cause the CDiff to take-off have come true. We are so, so sad for her. She started on a drug today for CDiff and if she's not showing any improvement by tomorrow afternoon she may be admitted to the hospital. Her colon is a mess and the cramping, nausea, fatigue and bloody stools are just awful.
I wish I could write more of how I am feeling, but right now I am just too worn down to find the words. Please, please pray for our Liz.