Christmas Wish

Sometimes life hits so hard it feels like you have been punched in the stomach, and cannot get air, doesn't it?
I have the kids' Christmas lists sitting next to my desk and have looked at them multiple times. In the past day, Liz must have made a new list because as I reached for my book last night, this caught my eye.
In between a dog and necklaces, she's listed "a chance to be healthy."
I literally gasped.

She has had a couple very fun days, And yet as unexpected as finding this new Christmas wish, she will come to me and say how scared she is to go to the OR again tomorrow, or in passing will tell me how mean we are to allow the doctors to test her, or how dumb we all are to not be able to fix her.
As normal as a day can feel; as carefree as life can feel, she is still scared and wanting to wish this away. We all are.

Tomorrow (Monday) she will have a third bone marrow aspiration done at 11:00am. As I wrote last week, the plan was for her to start IVIG (transfusion) after she got out of recovery. This has changed. A few of the doctors felt that a BMA and then a first round of IVIG was too much (there are reactions to IVIG that will leave her feeling unwell), so she will have the BMA only tomorrow and IVIG will begin next week. I am much more comfortable with this plan.
I am nervous for the first time about the results if the BMA. The other two left me nervous about the procedure itself (just her being uncomfortable afterwards), but this time I am nervous about the results as her bloodwork is showing things that weren't there before the last BMA's. I am trying to keep my worries at bay and instead concentrate on getting answers that may help the doctors.
We are praying that Liz not have as much pain with this BMA as she did last time. Also that she stay healthy through the next week as she won't be able to have anesthesia or start IVIG if she is sick. We're praying that the bone marrow aspiration results show no blasts and that her marrow is functioning better than it showed it was in April. Thank you for praying with us.

Lastly.....we have a big surprise to tell Liz about tomorrow when she is in pre-op! We were going to save it for later in the week, but have changed our minds as it will be a fun distraction for her going into the OR and then she'll have the fun of telling Kate and Jax later!