I had a blog all written...in my head. Ironically, I was going to share how strong I think I am; how strong I know I am! Instead, because life is so freaking funny, I found myself with my head under the kitchen sink and sobbing.
Elizabeth asked me to make our family's "Party Potaotes" tonight. It is a yummy, fattening dish and since she needs to gain weight I was happy to make them for her. She was excited to help me in the kitchen and her excitement meant extra bowls used, extra spoons and mixers covered in the white mess that is party potatoes. We made such a mess! As I was starting to do dishes while the potatoes were in the oven, it became obvious that the sink was stopped up...big time. Both sides were full of disgusting water. The plunger didn't help any. Not a big deal in the scheme of things. A huge inconvinience (especially to a nurotic person like me who hates going to bed with dishes in the sink) but in the big picture, this isn't a huge deal. Still.... I cried.
I wasn't tearing or quietly crying to myself, I was heavily sobbing...enough to make my head bob up and down on the cold 70's linoleum that lines the floor of the cabinet under the sink. I never cry in front of the kids. Alright, that isn't completely true. I have cried in front of them before, but I know it worries them-and scares them enough to have them rush to clean up toys or complete a chore, as they try to "make it better" in the only way their little heads know how. So, like most other mommies, I cry in the shower or in the car. Even in our tears, moms are selfless and cry in places where we are least likely to upset those around us.
Crying over a stopped up sink is ridiculous... so ridiculous that I am not crying over the sink. I am crying because the stupid sink situation set me off. It is even close to a metaphor- I want to make Liz happy and help her gain weight by fixing her a meal she requested and it couldn't just be that simple; that nice. It didn't go according to plan and it wasn't easy.
As I stood in front of the sink with the stupid plunger, my sweet Jackson came up behind me, put his little-man arm around my waist and said "It's ok mommy. Good thing you have bright side!" Oh my goodness, talk about snapping me out of my self-pity moment. Where did he get that? How did he know to say that at such an appropriate time?
I stopped crying and just started to giggle at my silly, smart, sweet Jackson. And then, I made them pose for a picture (because it is totally normal to have your kids pose in front of a sewage-filled sink and dinner on the counter next to it).
So, I do not feel strong today AT ALL and I sobbed and pouted in front of the kids, but at least the potatoes were supper yummy!
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